Sunday, September 19, 2010

update -- lots has happened








It's been a long time since my last update -- 7-8 months, I think. However, since nobody reads this anyway it's probably not a big deal. If you do read it, please leave a quick comment.

So, I've been living and working in London since Feb 2010. Originally I expected Tuya to join me after 2 weeks. Ha ha! How wrong I was. The UK embassy would have none of that. First they denied her a tourist visa, based on not liking her bank statements. So my new company's legal adviser suggested we try for a fiancee visa, if our intention was to get married ultimately. We've known each other for 3.5 years and have been together most of that time. We'd intended to get married but we decided we needed to be settled somewhere first.

So the die was cast. In April, during the short Easter holiday, I flew off to meet her in Beijing and propose formally. She suspected I would but I didn't confirm or deny it. The only fly in the ointment was a close friend of Tuya's insisted on coming to Beijing too. She seems to have a problem with saying no. So we had an extra person in our group most days and evenings. Fortunately, we had our own hotel room. The proposal happened at our favourite Indian restaurant called "Ganges" in Beijing. Although, she knew it was coming, Tuya seemed suitably moved, speechless, and tearful when I proposed. She managed to say "yes" too.

It was a short visit but a good one. I had to return to work and she returned to life in Ulaanbaatar (UB). I was very busy preparing her fiancee visa application, ably assisted by my visa agent, Victoria. The visa application is mainly about me, my flat, my finances, etc. It was a lot of work gathering all the documents but finally we completed it in May and dispatched it to UB for submission. Tuya paid the application fee £600 and I paid for the agent, also £600.

About a month later, in June, we were hit with 2 items of bad news. Firstly, the visa application was denied. Secondly, I was getting laid off. Major bummer. Jesus, when it rains it pours. Well, after the initial shock I read the reasons for denying her visa and there were a lot of mistakes, including the embassy breaking their own guidelines. It was like a child had written the denial letter, a clueless child. So, my agent got to work on an appeal letter because you have a full right of appeal on fiancee visas, and all settlement visas. This could mean the original visa officer (or ECO) could reverse his decision or it would go to a court in the UK.

The job loss was also a severe blow to my finances and more so to my ego, to be honest. Especially since I feel I did a fine job. They said they could get 2 people to do twice the work for the money they were paying me. Perhaps true. But I was given a job doing grunt work when I'd been a supervisor. So I should have been a supervisor at my pay, but they wouldn't give me that work. Also, they hired too many people and then the projects were scaled back or delayed. So when you have too many people sitting around doing nothing, what do you do? Look for ways to make cuts. Riiighht. So I was one of the highest paid grunts, and when the work ran out I was politely shown the door.

I was pretty pissed off by the treatment they gave me. After all, I'd moved half way around the world at considerable cost to me, only some of which had been compensated by this company. Also, I'd left my fiancee behind to work there and been deprived of her company, sex and love. So it was a low blow and I'd worked my arse off for this company. The only consolation was the company laying me off had referred me to 3 or 4 other big companies in London and put in a good word.

So, after getting laid off, I did what any self-respecting, sex-starved man in my shoes would do: that's right, I got on the first plane to Beijing to meet my fiancee. I had only 2 weeks though because my son was going to be visiting me in England later in July. So Tuya and I had an OK time in Beijing. We rarely went out, though because she seemed bored of Beijing. We decided to go to UB, Mongolia because we would have more to do there. Also, I needed to talk to her aunt & uncle about paying me back the money they owe me. So, it seemed like a good plan.

We had a much better time in UB, I reckon. We stayed free in her uncle's hotel. I saw a great deal of her family again. Most of them for the 4th time. We went camping in Terelj national park and lots of little fun trips in the city. We even discussed the money situation with her uncle, who promised to pay me back "whenever they could" but wouldn't agree to pay any more interest. Not a great deal for me, but my only option at this point.

So back to England I went, not knowing when I'd see Tuya again. Which is typical in our situation. Little did I know but it wouldn't be very long. I spent a fantastic 2 weeks with my son who seemed mainly over the divorce but more concerned with the lack of freedom he gets as a 14 year old. I tended to agree but I'm powerless to do much about it. I have almost zero communication with his mother, except her asking me for money. Anyway, he was much changed in attitude and physically since I saw him 2 years ago. He's 5'10" and thinner and he seemed sooo happy to see me. It was a big improvement. His ambition is to be a doctor. Very cool.

During this time I also had a job interview with one of the bigger companies in London. A few weeks later they offered me a job. Same type of work, same pay, same project, and same area in London. I accepted without hesitation. A few minutes later I was on a plane to Hong Kong to meet Tuya. It was 2 months since I'd seen her in UB. Hong Kong was mostly fun but I was almost utterly broke, or worse, almost bankrupt. But I'm recklessly in love and I knew I had a job starting with good pay 3 weeks later. We had to stay in cheaper hotels than ever before, but mainly they were just as good, although further out of the city centre. We spent most of the remaining cash on a new smartphone for Tuya, food, bars, discos, and a little bit of clothes shopping. Tuya wasn't very sympathetic about my financial situation which caused us to fight a bit. But we parted after 1 week on great terms.

I started my new job in London working on "John Carter of Mars" which should be huge. It's like the next "Avatar" perhaps. After only 1 week I got the incredible, unbelievable good news that the UK embassy in Beijing had reversed their decision and would issue Tuya her fiancee visa. Wow, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I knew we would win eventually but I didn't think it would happen so soon, and with hardly a fight. My investment into a visa agent paid off, I believe. Because I don't think I would have known how to fight the embassy otherwise.

So, once she actually gets her passport back with visa attached, she'll be flying her on the next available, cheap flight. Remember, my finances are still in dire condition and I will have to support another person. Anyway, with a new job and my dear Tuya coming soon, life is looking up again.